People invariably become serious when I tell them that I have cancer. Yes, it is a serious disease; but, I am still amused at their reaction. Perhaps it's because of my Marine Corps experience. We develop a somewhat warped sense of humor with virtually no filters. Or, maybe it's just my personality. In any case, I do not seek pity, compassion or acceptance. People are afraid of cancer due to a lack of knowledge. I understand this and explain what I can without bravado but humor. If someone blurts out that "you don't look like you have cancer " I respond with a thanks "you don't look like a porn star ".
Bottom line is we all suffer from the cancer, but it doesn't have to define who we are. It is up to us to determine and define what it is.

Mourning the loss of your once robust immune system and becoming a hermit because it is too easy to become very sick, even when you are being very careful.
Others just don't understand because they can't see your illness.

The emotional toll. In the beginning this sense of desperation that my whole life as I knew it just stopped.

That it’s forever. Am I healed? Yes. Do I have fatigue sometimes, yes. For new lumps I don’t panic but follicular lymphoma is forever.🤨

The worst part of NHL is the unknown. First thing I was told when I was diagnosed in 2014 was there is good news and bad news-good news is it won’t kill you, bad news is there is no cure. So every time I get a twinge, I wonder if it is a new node expanding. Even after 28 Rituxin treatments over the 9 years I’ve had this, it is still always in the back of my mind!!