Have you ever told a white lie to be kind, to protect the feelings of others, or maybe to avoid stigma?

For some people living with a chronic condition, telling a white lie can be a way to save their strength, especially when feeling fatigued. Sometimes, it’s easier not to share your unvarnished truth, especially when it doesn’t hurt anyone else. This can create a dilemma when you want to tell the truth or feel like you should, but you know it’s going to make things harder.

As it turns out, several members of MyLymphomaTeam tell white lies sometimes, for many different reasons. Here are some of the most common reasons they’ve shared.

To Protect Other People

Living with lymphoma is hard, and so is loving someone with lymphoma. Some members tell white lies because they don’t want their loved ones to worry.

“I don’t like to worry family,” one member shared. “If you are holding up well, then saying nothing to avoid having loved ones worry is OK,” another said. “I have told several white lies to my loved ones this week because I’ve found it easier and don’t want to hurt them with the truth of how frightened I am and how poorly I truly feel,” someone else shared.

Others know that their loved ones are already carrying a lot, and they don’t want to add to the burden. “I personally don’t talk much or at all about my illness. Everyone has enough problems of their own and don’t want to hear about mine,” a member explained. “I agree with you, it’s my problem, I will deal with it,” another replied.

They Feel Misunderstood

Others tell white lies because they don’t want to discuss their situation in detail with people who, they feel, won’t understand or don’t really want to know.

As one member put it, “I never tell people how I really am. No one really wants to know. I go on every day as if all is fine.” Another said, “My story still goes unheard after so many attempts at trying to contact the right resources to share my remarkable story about resilience and strength in one person … ME!!”

Beyond that, some members feel like others won’t want to be around them or maintain relationships if they share their whole truth. “I find that it is easier not to share than to have them avoid me,” one member shared. “I always tell people I’m fine or that I’m good. I don’t tell people how I really feel. I fear that if I did, no one would ever want to talk with me, and I would feel even more isolated than I already do,” another person explained.

It’s Good for Mental Health

Others cover up the truth in an effort to be positive, which they think is good for the mental health of both themselves and the other person.

“I try to be positive for everyone,” one member explained, when asked about white lies. “I really feel they much rather hear ‘I’m fine,’ and I really don't like to be a Debbie Downer! I like to feel positive!”

Some people do it in an effort to shift the conversation to a different topic because they don’t want to dwell on their illness. “If I can move away from that topic for a while, it is good for my mental health,” is how one member put it. Another said, “I tell lies because it makes me feel worse to dump it all out over and over again. I don’t want to talk about it. It pisses me off when I have to talk about it. I don’t need a pity party, it’s tiresome.”

White Lies and Your Health

No matter your reason for telling white lies about lymphoma, it’s a decision you have the right to make. Your health is your own, and you aren’t obligated to share it with anyone. If you choose not to share everything, you’re in good company with other members of MyLymphomaTeam.

Talk With Others Who Understand

On MyLymphomaTeam, people share their experiences with lymphoma, get advice, and find support from others who understand.

Have you found it easier to tell a white lie than to share the truth about lymphoma? Let others know in the comments below.